He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Duck Duck Cougar?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
