dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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