I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
