im having a threesome with these popsicles
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
