Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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