I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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