She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
