So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Boobs are out for the taking
Of course I have a pirate flag
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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