So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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