yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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