Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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