i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I need help removing her.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
