AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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