just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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