Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
