Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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