OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize