In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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