Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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