ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
