I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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