Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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