Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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