Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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