He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
