Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
