mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
