we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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