My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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