You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
