toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
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She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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