You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
