Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
When are your genitals available?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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