My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
