I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize