So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize