someone threw a dead crab at me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize