Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
