soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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