did you get engaged???
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
