I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
