apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
