I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I am morally bankrupt
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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