I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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