She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
