My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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