How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
