and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If that was your dad, he is hot
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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