You made me cry and you don't even care
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
