she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
