another moral hangover. fuck.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
