i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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