I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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