Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
