I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
