I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
