the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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