Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
