Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
